Monday 25 December 2017

A Poke-Christmas 2017



Hey guys. This is my submission for this year's Christmas fest. Hope you enjoy.

While I'm here, I may as well tell you all some fun facts about Santa Claus:

- In order for Santa to visit every single house in the world, accounting for time zones, he would have to travel at roughly Mach 2000. Going this fast would also mean you'd hear Santa coming from roughly 50 miles away.
- If Santa's sleigh were to travel that fast, it would exert a force of roughly 4,000,000 PSI. This is well beyond the amount of force needed to turn a human body into chunky salsa.
- Santa's sack of gifts would weigh about 300,000 tons. Every time he makes a landing, he would make a crater approximately 2.4 miles in diameter.
- Elves as depicted in the Santa folklore do not exist, as far as we know. The vast majority of toys distributed in the US and Canada are imported from countries that have no laws against child labor.

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYNaEM2O5pU


So... yeah. If Santa as depicted in the folklore was actually real, we'd all be fucked. Just like how the open internet will be fucked if you don't call your Congressman and Senators at Battle For The Net and demand that they support Congressman Doyle and Senator Markey's CRA resolution denouncing Ajit Pai's "Restoring Internet Freedom" order.

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Besides that, enjoy this pic of Ash enjoying his new Christmas "present". Apparently, he forgot to remove the wrapping, but I suppose that's what makes the pic sexier...


And before you ask why there's no legs on the table in the pic, the artist responsible for drawing this pic has been fired.


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Pokemon is (c) 1996-2017 Game Freak
All unit(s) are Lv18 and above.
This image was created by Sketch Lanza. Go here and here to view his shit.

Have a Merry Christmas.

Wednesday 20 December 2017

Ultra Lunar Eclipse



Ok, this was actually supposed to be uploaded a month ago, but Louis had gotten backlogged so... yeah. Anyways, I had bought Pokemon Ultra Sun the day it came out, and from what I've played so far, here is my critique of the game:

New Pokemon Revealed:

For the first time in its history, Game Freak has actually introduced new Pokemon species within the same generation, adding in three new Ultra Beasts and an event Legendary. Among these, Naganadel is probably the most notable, in that he got sent to Ubers about a week after the games were released. He has absolutely monstrous special offenses and a very good offensive typing in poison/dragon, along with the movepool to make use of the above two parameters. As for the others, while Blacephalon is also pretty scary thanks to his good mixed offenses and decent speed, Stakataka is pretty underwhelming since he has a defensive statline, but a terrible defensive typing to make use of said defenses.

New Formes for Necrozma:

As usual since Gen IV, whenever a new game within the same generation comes out, a legendary Pokemon that was not prominently featured in the previous games gets an uber buff in the form of new formes (pun intended). In Necrozma's case, he received two new formes depending on which of the S/M cover legends the player fused him with, which not only changes his appearances, but gives him a similar statline to that of the legend he assimilated with (Atk/Def for Solgaleo and SpA/Spd for Lunala). As if this wasn't enough, by giving him an Ultranecrozium Z, he can transform into Ultra Necrozma, a psychic/dragon type with 167/167/129 offenses and an ability that increases the power of super effective moves by 20%. And to top it all off, he gets a new signature move called Photon Geyser, which is a 100 BP move that uses whichever of his attacking stats is higher to calculate damage. Yeah, I think we should all tremble in fear now.

Mantine Surf/Move Tutors:

Another addition to the game that I found to be enjoyable is Mantine Surf. It's a fun minigame where the player must ride a tidal wave while performing tricks and dodging Pokemon. Performing well in this minigame will earn the player Beach Points (BP), which can then be used to buy moves at the Move Tutors scattered across Aloha. Like in most third installment games, the move tutors are back to teach the player powerful moves, but unlike in most games, these tutors aren't tucked away in a postgame battle facility nor do they require a rare resource as payment, which makes them fairly accessible during the story mode.

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And that's about all I'm going to say regarding those games. That was a mouthful. I'd have Selene here do the talking, but as one can see, she's not in a position to talk right now.

Also, if you live in the US, please contact your Congresscritter at http://www.battleforthenet.com/ to demand that they support Congressman Doyle and Senator Markey's resolution of disapproval against FCC Chairman Pai's "Restoring Internet Freedom" order.

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Pokemon is (c) 1996-2017 Hiro Mashima
All unit(s) are Lv18 and above.
This pic was made by Kuroi Hoshi. Go here to view his stuff and here to watch his livestream.

Have a nice day.

Thursday 2 November 2017

Fairy Tail Halloween 2017



Hey guys. Sorry if this is two days late, but I wanted to do something for Halloween, and what better way to celebrate the occasion by taking two characters from one franchise and dressing them up as two characters from another franchise.

Since NaLu had won a plurality (almost a majority) of the votes in the Halloween poll, I decided to have them featured in this pic, dressed as Link and Linebeck from The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. Link and Linebeck costumes were chosen because I liked the interactions between the two characters in the game, so... this was my way of putting them into a pic without actually doing so, since both me and Hoshi detest yaoi/GiD.

No credit to Douglas Garret and other GrayLu shippers.

Also, feels go great to get a Hoshi commission again now that I have a $20 pledge to him. Check him out if you want, but note that you won't find me there because I'm permanently banned.

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Fairy Tail is (c) 2006-2017 Hiro Mashima
All unit(s) are Lv18 and above.
This pic was made by Kuroi Hoshi. Go here to view his stuff and here to watch his livestream.

Have a nice day.

Thursday 17 August 2017

A Royal Threesome



Hello to all.

Ever wonder what Xander and his siblings would've done to Corrin had they actually managed to pry her away from her Hoshidian siblings in Birthright? This is one possible interpretation.

Elise and Leo were not around for comment.

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For anyone who plays Fire Emblem Heroes and wants to add me as a friend there, my friend ID is 9884851032.

And once again, I'm on Discord if you want to friend me there. My username there is LordSmiley and my user tag is #9800.

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Fire Emblem is (c) 1990 Intelligent Systems.
All unit(s) are Lv18 or above.
This image was created by Sketch Lanza. Go here and here to view his shit.

Have a nice day.

Monday 24 July 2017

Ice-Cold Rainy Passion Redux



Well, it finally happened. Fairy Tail's last chapter came out a few days ago, and not only has NaLu been heavily implied to be canon, Gruvia is now 100% confirmed to be canon as well. With that, GrayLu is now 100% confirmed to be dead, and I thought it would be a good idea to write an eulogy for it.

GrayLu was a crack pairing between FT mages Gray Fullbuster and Lucy Heartfilia. I honestly have no fucking idea how this pairing came to be, but my guess is that a deluded fangirl saw a panel of Gray and Lucy standing next to each other, thought they looked cute together, and started creating fanart of them.

Unfortunately, two characters looking good together does not a legitimate pairing make. There also needs to be a foundation that a romantic relationship could exist between the two characters, and GrayLu is sorely lacking in this. Even NaLi had a foundation in the form of the childhood flashbacks, even though the foundation was built on quicksand. GrayLu doesn't even have that, as Mashima gave them no emotional development even in the earlier chapters, and the interactions they do have can be interpreted as a friendship moment at best.

When compared to the development that Gruvia received, GrayLu doesn't begin to compare. Not even close. Like... the closest thing we get to anything resembling a romantic GrayLu moment is a fucking head pat, and even then, it doesn't develop their relationship beyond a simple friendship. Meanwhile, Gruvia received immensely powerful emotional development over the course of 500+ chapters. Let's think about this. If Gray didn't have feelings for Juvia, then why were they able to perform a perfect unison raid on the first attempt? Or why was it that Juvia was the first person that Gray went to for comfort after Silver's death? If Gray disliked Juvia, then why did he consent to living with her under the same roof for six fucking months? Also, recall that Gray went apeshit after Juvia "killed" herself in order to escape a life chain that Invel put on them. And finally, in the very last chapter, Gray finally admitted that he wanted Juvia's body, and that he was ok with her starting a relationship with him.

Most of the arguments that flamethrowers like ZN-Lover used to defend their pairing were already asinine to begin with, but by the GMG arc, it was pretty clear that their pairing was being fueled by high octane delusion. One common argument I've seen GrayLu shippers use is that Juvia imagines Gray and Lucy hitting on one another. About that... while it is true that she had those fantasies, one must remember that those "moments" were in another character's head, and therefore don't count. Another favorite argument these clowns use is that Gray and Lucy fight together. So fucking what? Fighting together isn't grounds for romance and even if it was, Natsu and Lucy fought together at least three times as often, and they were even called "the strongest team" by their guildmates due to their compatibility. And those are just the two most commonly used arguments. Another user named AhmedGreat2005 created a list of reasons of why Gray and Lucy are compatible, and while it has long since been deleted, most of the reasons he came up with were false, had nothing to do with romance, or both. Among the reasons he posted was that Gray and Lucy both have stalkers. On top of not being grounds for romance, it is ironic that this clown would use that as an argument, seeing as Gray's "stalker" is the only love interest he has.

Regardless, I'm actually glad that Gruvia has been 100% confirmed to be canon, so any delusions of GrayLu having a chance can finally be put to rest once and for all. And with that, there's only one thing to say: Checkmate.

TL;DR? Gruvia is canon. GrayLu is dead. Deal with it. Game Over.

Voice recorded version can be found here.

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Besides that, enjoy the pic. When Gray said he wanted Juvia's body, this is how I interpreted that line. Seriously, I can totally imagine them doing this after Team Natsu gets back from searching for Aquarius's key.

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Fairy Tail is (c) 2006 Hiro Mashima.
All unit(s) are Lv18 or above.
This image was created by Sketch Lanza. Go here and here to view his shit.

Have a nice day.

Wednesday 5 July 2017

The Princess and the Dragon (2017 Version)


With only 4 chapters to go before Fairy Tail ends, I thought it would be a good time to start writing eulogies for the pairings that are clearly crack/dead. Alongside the image above is the obituary I wrote for NaLi:

NaLi was a crack pairing between FT mages Natsu Dragneel and Lisanna Strauss. This pairing came about after an omake was released relatively early on, where Natsu and Lisanna, in a childhood flashback, found an egg on the road and raised it together, becoming close friends in the process, with Lis even going so far as to (jokingly) propose to Natsu. However, this pairing was not meant to be, as 4 years after this event, an accident involving a botched take-over on Elfman's part occurred which resulted in Lisanna's supposed death.

With that in mind, you'd expect Lisanna to try to make up for lost time with Natsu after returning from Edolas? That was probably some fucking wishful thinking right there, because Lisanna barely interacted with Natsu after the first timeskip (well, outside of Chapter 367, but they didn't have much of a choice in the matter, as I'll get to in the next paragraph). Hell, during the Tenrou arc, Lisanna told Lucy to "stay close to Natsu", right before the fight with Precht (a.k.a Master Hades), which can be interpreted as Lis realizing that Natsu had moved on and she should probably do the same.

Which brings us to the infamous jail scene from Chapter 367. Despite being promoted by flamethrowers like Douglas Garret (a.k.a ZN-Lover), this scene is not a legitimate NaLi moment. How in fuck hell can it be, given the context? Let's think about this. Natsu and Lisanna were trapped in a dungeon, both stripped of their pride and chained up like Ringling Bros elephants. Not just that, but they had other priorities. Natsu in particular stormed Tartaros with the intent of busting out Erza and Mira, while Lis was worried as hell about Elfman. Then there was the whole issue with FACE potentially wiping out all magic. In short, escaping and saving the world were top priority in this situation. And as for Natsu's so-called "pervert reaction face", he was obviously shocked that Lisanna had been stripped and chained up the same way as him. Not because he was aroused by her naked body or any other asinine reason that Douglas gives. Compare this to whenever Natsu sees Lucy naked. He simply goes quiet and stares at her, with a telltale blush. This kind of reaction shows attraction, not what Natsu displayed in that cell.

TL;DR? NaLu is canon. NaLi is dead. Deal with it. Game Over.

The voice recording of this eulogy can be found here.

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Besides that, feel free to enjoy this pic of Natsu fucking Lucy in the ass.

You might remember how my previous Lanza commissions were vector colors, but since I was sitting on a ton of money, I decided to pay $10 extra for a smooth color. Well worth it.

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Fairy Tail is (c) 2006 Hiro Mashima.
All unit(s) are Lv18 or above.
This image was created by Sketch Lanza. Go here and here to view his shit.

Have a nice day.

Sunday 23 April 2017

A Fiery Threesome


This is a pic that is essentially a re-do of a pic that I had originally submitted to Lanza on WHentai. I didn't quite like how the first pic came out, so I had another artist do a do-over of the pic. I decided to even include bondage in the pic, because I like seeing girls get tied up.

Also, this pic was coincidentally made the day before Lucina's birthday. So, she can consider this her birthday present, I guess.

Note: Hey guys. James here. This is going to be my last update for a while, at least as far as hentai pics are concerned. Four days ago, I got really impatient with Kuroi, and said stuff I probably shouldn't have said. For that, he banned me from his chat. I'm currently trying to mend bridges and potentially get unbanned, but it seems that he doesn't want me around in my current state. So, in light of that, I'm going to spend the next several weeks or so working to deal with my lack of impulse control (which I have issues with IRL as well).

So, yeah. While it sucks ass to get banned, it at the same time made me realize that I need to fix these problems or I'm really going to have issues later down the road. And Kuroi, if you ever read this, I just want to let you know that I am really sorry for my actions, and that if you ever do unban me, I will commit to keeping my impulses under control (and if I break this promise, feel free to have Picarto delete my account).

Also, if you want to contact me, chat me up on either Skype or Discord (my Skype username is darkandroid125 and my Discord username is LordSmiley).

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Fire Emblem is (c) 1990 Intelligent Systems
All unit(s) are Lv18 and above.
This pic was made by Kuroi Hoshi. Go here to view his stuff and here to watch his livestream.

Have a nice day.

Friday 31 March 2017

Fuzzy Fucking Pickles

Have you ever wondered what the real purpose of that house in Onett that the player can buy for $7500 was? Well, let's just say that camerman who usually takes photo-ops was in for a shock.

Jeff and Poo were not around for comment.

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To all my watchers...

If you were expecting me to post more Fairy Tail hentai as I announced, joke's on you. The truth is that I never really intended to do anything Fairy Tail related. Instead, I decided to have this pic done because I haven't had Kuroi do anything MOTHER/Earthbound related for around 5 months (and no, the Lucatora color doesn't count, since that was an update to an existing pic). That and I really like Ness x Paula.

That's about all. Have a nice day.

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Earthbound is (c) 1995 Nintendo
All unit(s) are Lv18 and above.
This pic was made by Kuroi Hoshi. Go here to view his stuff and here to watch his livestream.

Thursday 9 March 2017

Lucy and Lisanna: Girls Next Door (Final)



Posting this here because I felt like it deserves its own thread. That and this one, when completed, will be really long.

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Final Part: Threesome

"Natsu? What are you doing here?!"
"Uh... Luce?! What the hell is this? Why are you tied up? And why is Lisanna here?"
"God... of all the times you had to show your face... why the fuck now?!"
"Look Luce, I'm sorry! I didn't know! I'll... uh... go now."
"Look. If your house is a sty like it probably is, then you can use the couch downstairs. But don't come back in here!"
*Natsu leaves the room*
"Lucy, that was a bit harsh."
"Yeah, well. He has a history of barging in here uninvited. Let's not even try to humor him."
"Lucy... I was thinking. I know that it's your house and that he's an intruder, but I was wondering if you could invite him back up here for a threesome?"
"What?"
"Look. You've probably fantasized about doing something like that with him and another girl in the past. That and I never really interact with him."
"Hm, now that you put it like that. I may consider letting him up here. However, if we agree to this, you will have to let him tie you up. Do we have a deal?"
"As much as I don't want to be tied up or have my magic sealed again, I'll do it."

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"Natsu, can you come upstairs for a moment?"
 "What is it, Luce?"
*Natsu re-enters Lucy's bedroom.*
"Natsu, me and Lisanna talked it over, and we've come to the consensus that we should have a threesome. You in?"
"Sure. I've sometimes fantasized about doing it with two girls."
"Ok. But before we begin, I'd like you to head to that chest and grab some ropes and a sealstone collar."
"What for?"
"The condition I gave Lisanna was that she get tied up again."
"Ok." *takes some rope and a collar out of the chest and turns to Lisanna* "Alright. I'm going to tie you up. Hopefully I don't make you uncomfortable."
"I'll be fine, Natsu..."
"Great to hear. Now I need you to put your hands behind your back."
*Lisanna puts her arms behind her back in a box formation. Natsu takes some rope and ties her arms together, followed by lashing more ropes above and below her breasts. He then ties another rope around Lisanna's waist and pulls the remaining length of rope between her legs and knots it to the other end of the rope belt. He then puts the sealstone collar around her neck.*
"So, like this?"
"It's somewhat tight, but I think I'll manage."
"Wow. That's pretty good. I'm actually amazed you know a thing or two about erotic bondage. Anyways, you should probably strip down yourself."
"Cool."
*Natsu takes off all his clothes except his scarf.*
"Ok. Let's start with a little foreplay."

(And this is where I'll cut it for tonight. I'm tired, and I want to get a proper sleep. I'll post more later.)

Also, the voices:

Natsu: Voiceforge Charlie/Young Guy
Lucy: Voiceforge Princess
Lisanna: Voiceforge Kayla

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Fairy Tail is (c) 2006 Hiro Mashima
All unit(s) are Lv18 and above.
This pic was made by Kuroi Hoshi. Go here to view his stuff and here to watch his livestream.

Have a nice day.

Monday 27 February 2017

The Defeated Knight



Last month, I made a paste in my pastebin where Erza Scarlet reacts to the stuff on my blog and tries to take me out, but I turn the tables on her and basically turn her into a bondage slut. Well, this is the picture that is supposed to go with it. Looks like she won't be getting out anytime soon.

P.S: It should also be known that Kupoexe actually didn't watch or read Fairy Tail, so I had to fill him in on a lot more details than I did with either Lyn or Lucina.

Also, one can view the paste here.

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Fairy Tail is (c) 2006 Hiro Mashima.
All unit(s) are Lv18 or above.
This pic was drawn by Kupoexe Magnus. His deviantart account is here. He will post a version with panties tomorrow.

And now for alts!

Blindfold:

Ballgag:
TL Note: You think you're being really fucking clever by putting this fucking rubber ball in my mouth? I swear to god, when I get free from my bonds, you're gonna fucking wish you were never born! Do you really think I enjoy being tied up?

Ballgag + Blindfold:
TL Note: I fucking hate you. I really do. Ah, fuck it. I give up. Do your worst, Mr. Smiley! Fuck my asshole as much as you want you fucking pervert! I can't even stop you anyway, so indulge in your fantasies, you fucking pig!

Tuesday 14 February 2017

Lucy and Lisanna: Girls Next Door


Part 1: Selfie

Lisanna had no goddamned idea what she had gotten herself into. Apparently, she and Lucy made a bet that if Douglas Garret returned to DeviantArt, Lis would become Lucy's bitch for that day (and likewise, Lucy would become hers if he didn't return). Well, let's just say that Lisanna lost the bet.

To that end, Lisanna was told to strip naked (she was allowed to keep her footwear on), after which Lucy pulled her hands behind her back and started tying her up. After finishing with the ropework, Lucy put a sealstone collar around the take-over mage's neck and inserted a love egg into her pussy, then told her that they were going for "a walk", before pulling a trench coat over her upper body to conceal her nudity/bondage.

After walking for about 30 minutes, during which time Lis was worried as hell that someone would find out what Lucy did to her, they reached the alley where Gray and Bickslow fought. Lucy then undid Lis's coat and took a picture with her new smartphone.

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Part 2: Bath

Later on in the day, Lucy and Lisanna took a trip to the hot springs for a soothing bath. Finding a secluded spot in the pool, Lucy led her captive in and started washing her.

Lis thought to herself as Lucy was cleaning her, "It still sucks ass that I'm still tied up and can't use magic, but at least the water's warm."

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Part 3: Revenge

After their little trip through town, Lucy and Lisanna return to the former's house for dinner. Before preparing the food, Lucy untied her captive so she could eat, but promptly told her that she would be tied up again as soon as they were done.

After they finished eating, Lucy went back to her bedroom to retrieve the ropes so she could reapply Lis's bondage, only to find that the ropes weren't there. Lis then sneaks up behind Lucy, ropes in hand, and pulls the blonde haired mage's hands behind her back.

"It isn't so smart to let your guard down, Lucy-chan."

"Huh? Lis? What are you doing?"

"You really thought that I was going to let you tie me up again after that embarrassing walk? I think it's my turn to be the domme."

"Oh well, it can't be helped, I guess. Indulge yourself, Lis."

"Don't worry. We won't be going out again. But first, start taking off your clothes."

"Yes... ma'am..."

After Lucy stripped down to just her stockings, Lis starting tying her up in the same way she was tied up earlier in the day, placing the collar around her neck when she was done. Lis then climbed on Lucy's bed and spread her legs, pointing at her pussy, "Lick it".

"Huh?"

"My pussy is sore from that rope going through it earlier. I think it's only fair that you make it feel better."

"Heh... might as well get it over with."

Lucy then climbed on the bed as well, getting on her knees and applying her tongue to Lis's lower lips.

"You know, for someone who claims to not be interested in other girls, you're pretty good at this."

"Thanks. I'm kinda enjoying it too."

About 15 minutes later, a familiar face sneaks in to Lucy's house as he always does...

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Also, here are the voices for each of the characters:

Lucy: Voiceforge Princess
Lisanna: Voiceforge Kayla
Natsu: Voiceforge Charlie/Young Guy

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Final Part: Threesome

Ok, I've decided to post the final pic in its own thread. Click on this link to view it.

(Warning: may contain pork.)

And before I forget, Happy Valentine's Day.

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Fairy Tail is (c) 2006 Hiro Mashima
All unit(s) are Lv18 and above.
This pic was made by Kuroi Hoshi. Go here to view his stuff and here to watch his livestream.

Have a nice day.

Monday 6 February 2017

One Piece V_Day 2017


Hello to all.

This image was supposed to be Douglas Garret's Valentine's Day card. However, since he decided to be a no-show for the last 5 months (presumably because he wasn't able to procure any bogus GrayLu moments to use in his posters for the last 20 chapters), this is a Valentine's Day "present" to all the LuBo shippers who probably hate both my and Warlordgab's guts.

But for those who support LuNa, enjoy this pic of Luffy and Nami having anal, while Boa is jealously watching through a window.

Credit to Rescue713/CJHammond for getting this tape gag alt done for me, and to NotAnArtistTad for defusing Hitori Artist and potentially getting me unbanned. No credit to Douglas Garret and other LuNa haters.

EDIT: I gave this commission a color job. Enjoy. (For those who want to see the original sketch commissions, they will be posted on my Dropbox later).

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One Piece is (c) 1997 Eiichiro Oda.
All unit(s) are Lv18 and above.
This pic was made by Kuroi Hoshi. Go here to view his stuff and here to watch his livestream.

Have a nice day.

And now for the alt that Rescue had made:


Tuesday 10 January 2017

Fourth Gens The Charm


Ever wonder what Red had been doing the last ten years since the events of RBY? Well, besides the time that Ethan fought him in the Silver Cave?

This is one possible interpretation of what he had been doing between the events of GSC and S/M. Or something to that effect. Red isn't exactly a talkative fellow.

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Pokemon is (c) 1996 Game Freak
All unit(s) are Lv18 and above.
This pic was made by Kuroi Hoshi. Go here to view his stuff and here to watch his livestream.

Have a nice day.

Saturday 7 January 2017

ITT I Play Hector Hard Mode (part 26)

Chapter 30: Great Lord Hector

Units Deployed:
Hector, Legault

New Units:
n/a

Chapter Summary:
Not a terribly hard map.

The main challenge behind this map is that the player can only bring one unit besides Hector. Ideally, the player would either want to bring a mounted unit to assist Hector in getting to the gate, or a lower leveled unit to help them catch up on levels.

However, there are 2 items that are held by enemies that can only be obtained by stealing them, so it may be prudent to bring a thief. However, this will also necessarily mean that Hector will have to take the brunt of the offense on this map, as neither Matthew nor Legault have good combat parameters at this point in the game, especially when one considers that the majority of enemies on this map are armored.

The other key feature on this map are the holes that dot many of the walls. Any unit that stands within 3 tiles of one of these holes will not only take damage, but will also become poisoned for 5 turns. Normally, poison isn't such a big deal, but due to the tight deployment on this map, it can really wear one's units down, especially if a staff user wasn't the second unit chosen.

The goal of this map is to kill Kaim and claim the space he's standing on. However, killing Kaim is easier said than done, as Hector can only 4HKO him with his strongest accessible weapon and he himself is 3HKO'd by Kaim's 35 attack Tomahawk.

Lastly, the player can neither deploy the convoy nor Oswin on this map.

Turn By Turn Analysis:
Turn 1: Legault kills the thief (he needed to proc a KE crit to do so). Hector kills an armor.
EP: Leggy chips the armor that was next to the thief he killed. Hector gets his elixir stolen. He and the thief both get poisoned.

Turn 2: Leggy and Hector both head north.
EP: 2 knights and the thief die on Hector. Leggy kills the armor he chipped last EP.

Turn 3: Hector and Leggy continue north, the former killing a mage.
EP: Hector chips the speedwing mage (he would've killed if not for his hand axe breaking).

Turn 4: Leggy steals the speedwing. Hector moves west and kills one of the axereaver armors.
EP: Hector gets attacked by the speedwing mage.

Turn 5: Hector equips a new hand axe and uses his elixir. Leggy heads for the wolf beil chest.
EP: Hector kills both mages and chips the second reaver armor.

Turn 6: Hector continues west, using his elixir again. Leggy opens the wolf beil chest.
EP: Hector kills the steel blade merc and the swordreaver fighter.

Turn 7: Hector continues west, using his third elixir use.
EP: The 3 mages near Kaim attack Hector and all die. Leggy gets attacked by an armor.

Turn 8: Hector attacks Kaim, critting him. Leggy kills the armor that attacked him.
EP: Hector kills Kaim. Leggy gets attacked by a third armor.

Turn 9: Hector seizes.

Turns Taken: 9/208

Ending Thoughts:
Hector = best lord in FE7, period. Really, his only real flaw at this point is that he has 5 movement when everyone else has at least 6.

Speaking of Hector, don't forget to check out this new image of him anal fucking Lyn.

And if it means anything, Leggy is promoting next map, since there's basically nothing of value left to steal. That and he needs Lethality to kill anything these days.

Lastly, Ninian is no longer available for use at this point. Instead, her brother Nils will be joining the posse. Nils is basically the same unit as Ninian anyway, right down to the stats.

Unit Stats:
Name       Level   HP SM SK SP LK DF RS CN Weapon Level
Hector     20/ 3   43 22 21 16 11 22 10 15 Swd D/Axe A
Eliwood    20/ 3   43 22 19 22 18 13 11  9 Swd A/Lnc D
Lyn        20/ 5   47 20 24 24 21 12 12  6 Swd A/Bow C

Nils       13/--   25  0  0 25 24  9 14  4 --
Oswin      18/10   50 25 20 12 10 30 20 16 Lnc A/Axe S
Bartre     15/ 4   48 23 16 15  7 17  4 15 Axe S/Bow E
Priscilla   7/ 0   20 10  8 10 10  3  9  4 Stf B
Sain       15/ 4   37 22 10 18  9 15  6  9 Swd B/Lnc A/Axe C
Florina    13/ 6   31 15 21 23 18  9 13  5 Swd E/Lnc S
Raven      15/ 8   50 25 23 26 10 16  6  9 Swd S/Axe B
Lucius     13/ 7   30 22 13 19  6  7 23  7 Lgt S/Stf A

Canas      15/11   46 27 18 21 14 14 24  8 Drk S/Stf A
Legault    17/ 0   32 11 16 20 14 11  7  9 Swd C
Heath      15/10   52 27 22 20 11 25  8 10 Swd B/Lnc S

Pent       --/ 9   35 20 21 18 16 12 18  8 Anm S/Stf A
Louise     --/ 6   29 14 15 19 16  9 12  6 Bow A

Supports:
Hector x Lyn A, Eliwood x Ninian A, Raven x Lucius B, Pent x Louise A


Swag List:
Speedwing
Wolf Beil
Steel blade
Tomahawk

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Have a nice day.

Hector x Lyn S Support


Another shining example of how much spicier S supports were back in the day, and why they were toned down considerably in Awakening and Fates.

Either that, or I just like seeing girls get tied up and fucked in the ass. Oh wait... I do, considering I commissioned Kuroi to do 15 pics (and counting) of girls getting tied up/assfucked during his Sunday livestreams.

Anyways, this commission I had Hoshi do was in response to Hector and Lyn unlocking their A support in Segment 23 of my Hector Hard Mode run.

Have fun fapping.

Fun fact 1: I originally paired Hector with Florina in my HNM run. Of course, in that run, I was playing at a much slower pace than I do now (as an example, I AA'd Raven to 20/1 in the Chapter 17x arena). The reason I paired Hector with Lyn in my HHM run was because Hector's support with Lyn grows faster than his support with Florina (Hector/Lyn is a 0/+3 support vs Hector/Flo's 5/+2), which makes a big difference in an efficient playthrough such as mine. That and I wasn't using Rath in the run since my exp was stretched pretty thinly at that time, between getting Heath to promotion and eliminating Eliwood's level deficit, both before Chapter 24 (If I had used Rath in the playthrough, I would've paired Lyn with him, and one would be seeing Florina's asshole getting fucked in this image).

Fun fact 2: I actually had this as an option on my "FE Couples Pork" poll back in October, where I was going to send a commission with the winning couple to Kuroi Hoshi (spoiler: the winning couple was Roy/Lilina). Obviously, the winning image was eventually drawn by Sketch Lanza after Kuroi closed color commissions (I actually threw a temper tantrum over this, and Hitori threatened to ban me from the multistream).

UPDATE: Got this colored. However, I'm still kind of pissed off that he didn't resize it to the size of my other color commissions. And trying to resize it myself makes it look shitty. Yeah, I felt I got cheated somewhat. I may need to buy a 2 hour stream (or a 5 hour stream, if any one of the 4 guys holding one downgrades) and make him redo it in that time period.

Original version can be found here.

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Fire Emblem is (c) 1990 Intelligent Systems.
All unit(s) are Lv18 and above.

This pic was made by Kuroi Hoshi. Go here to view his stuff and here to watch his livestream. 

Have a nice day.

ITT I Play Hector Hard Mode (part 25)

Chapter 29: Manifestation of my Hatred

Units Deployed:
Hector, Eliwood, Lyn, Ninian, Oswin, Florina, Sain, Canas, Pent, Louise

New Units:

Vaida (Lv9 Wyvern Lord)
Bases: 47 HP/22 str/21 skl/14 spd/11 lck/22 def/7 res/12 con Swd A/Lnc A
Growths: 60 HP/45 str/25 skl/40 spd/30 lck/25 def/15 res
Supports: Dorcas, Merlinus, Canas, Heath, Wallace, Harken, Karla

Summary: Vaida can be best described as a flying Oswin. Like Oswin, she hits hard and is virtually indestructible on the physical side, but is desperately slow. Also, like Heath and the pegasus sisters, she flies. That's uber cool, even though VoD is the only map left that has uneven terrain.

Chapter Summary:
I fucking hate this chapter.

I think it is generally agreed on that this is one of the hardest maps in the game, right up there with Genesis and BBD. Like Genesis, this map is basically saturated in magic wielding enemies, with only 5 enemies on the entire map, including the boss, being physical units. Not only that, but 12 enemies have either siege magic or status staves.

Among the multiple threats on this map, the biggest threats are the sleep staff sorcerer next to Lloyd (27 magic makes her staff virtually impossible to dodge; even Canas faces ~50 hit), the valkyries (which can have upwards of 20 speed, making them virtually impossible to double), and the Bolting sage in the northwest corner of the map (his 30 attack combined with the Purge bishop's 25 attack can strip 70-80% of a low res unit's HP even with pure water/barrier).

Then we get to Lloyd himself. He's not quite as tough as Gel from Binding Blade, but even so, it's not fun trying to take down a unit with 22 AS/80 avoid and 55 HP/18 def/25 res bulk after throne bonuses, especially when he can't be critted, no thanks to his iron rune. He is also quite deadly on offense, packing 30 attack and 32 crit hitting resistance at 1-2 range with his prism sword.

For these reasons, the player is recommended to bring units with high resistance. Units such as Canas, Hawkeye, and Pent are ideal for this role, though any unit with sufficient res will do. Also, bring plenty of pure water and some barrier staves. Because one can never have too much res on this map.

I should probably also talk about this map's reinforcements. The reinforcements on this map, rather than spawning after a set number of turns, will spawn whenever the player puts a unit in one of 4 "trigger zones". The trigger zone across the double bridge near the player's starting position will spawn a bishop and 4 monks from the forts on the center of the map, while the trigger zone on the island west of the player's starting position spawns a sorcerer and 4 dark mages from the forts south of Lloyd. The trigger zone located across the bridge directly north of where Hector starts will spawn 4 valkyries from the forts on the northeast corner of the map. These reinforcements will spawn once every 2 turns, up to 4 times.

The last trigger zone, which encompasses the entire northwest corner of the map, will cause Vaida and two wyvern riders to spawn from the southeast corner of the map, then 5 more wyvern riders for the next 2 turns. To recruit Vaida, talk to her with Hector.

Lastly, be sure to visit the house in the southeast corner of the map, which contains a warp staff. 

Prior to starting the map, Oswin consumed the boots. He needs this in order to reach Lloyd in any reasonable timeframe, and also to retrieve the talisman in Chapter 32 within 4 turns (he's not really doing much in VoD otherwise, due to his low move). It also helps with movement in general since Oswin cannot be carried by any unit except Eliwood (or Rath, but I'm not using him).

Turn By Turn Analysis:
Turn 1: Pent and Canas cast Barrier on Sain and Flo, respectively. Flo picks up Canas and is danced, allowing her to move west and drop Canas on the north side of the river, between the 2 western bridges. Sain heads west to block the bridge west of the starting position. Oswin crosses the double bridge while everyone else gathers around it.
EP: The 3 dark mages on the south island attack Sain and all die. The 3 monks across the double bridge die on Oswin, while Florina kills 2 dark mages and chips a valkyrie. Canas also chips a valkyrie. The purge bishop attacks Ninian.

Turn 2: Canas and Flo kill the 2 valkyries they chipped earlier. Eli kills the purge bishop. Sain takes a fresh hand axe out of the convoy, gets healed by Pent, then is danced and kills a monk.
EP: Sain kills 3 monks, gets hit by the sage's Bolting, and dodges a berserk. Canas kills 3 dark mages and dodges a sleep. Florina kills a dark mage and a sorcerer (both hits critted, only mattered for the sorc). Note: Sain needed to dodge the berserk while Canas needed to dodge the sleep.

Turn 3: Sain and Flo get healed by Pent and Canas, respectively. Flo moves west to kill the last of the dark mages while Louise kills the bishop reinforcement and Sain and Eli kill more monks. Oswin kills the fortify troub while Louise gets danced and kills the lone monk next to the troub.
EP: Lyn snipes the 4 mages on the eastern island from across the river. Oswin draws in both heroes and chips them. Hector dodges a Bolting. Canas and Louise dodge a silence and a berserk, respectively, while Sain gets put to sleep. Note: Canas and Louise needed to dodge their respective status staves, but there was 0% chance Sain was going to dodge.

Turn 4: Pent and Louise kill both heroes. Pent is also danced so he could restore Sain. Canas kills the sleep staff druid. Oswin moves northwest and uses his pure water. Eli moves north and kills the bishop reinforcement, with Sain tagging along to kill another monk. Flo visits the warp house.
EP: Canas kills the lone bandit. Sain kills one more monk and chips another (he whiffed the second hit), gets attacked by the sniper, and dodges a Bolting and a berserk. Pent dodges a silence.

Turn 5: Eli kills one of the valkyries near the northeastern forts. Lyn is danced, and moves northwest to kill the sniper. Louise kills the last of the monk reinforcements. Canas and Flo kill the berserk and silence staff valkyries, respectively. Oswin takes out the silence staff druid.
EP: Flo and Oswin get attacked by purge bishops, the former also dodging 2 thunder valkyries. Louise dodges a sleep and a bolting. Hector gets hit by Bolting.

Turn 6: Flo takes out the sleep valk. Oswin kills one of the purge bishops, moving into Lloyd's range with the swordreaver equipped. Sain kills the bolting sage. Eli takes out the second NE valkyrie. Louise removes the third bishop reinforcement while Lyn kills the NE berserk valkyrie. Pent moves south to deal with the wyvern reinforcements.
EP: Lloyd and Oswin trade blows. Vaida attacks Hector. Pent takes out 2 wyverns. Lyn gets surrounded and attacked by the 3 monk reinforcements. Canas dodges another purge while Flo chips the 2 remaining valkyries.

Turn 7: Hector recruits Vaida, and is then danced (Vaida picks up Ninian and flies NW). Oswin kills the other purge bishop. Pent sits on a forest on the southeast corner of the map and kills a wyvern rider. Canas and Flo kill the remaining valkyries, while Lyn, Louise, and Eli kill the monks.
EP: Lloyd and Oswin continue to trade blows. Pent kills 9 wyvern riders.

Turn 8: Oswin kills Lloyd. Lyn, Louise, Eli, and Sain take out the rest of the trash.

Turns Taken: 8/199

Ending Thoughts:
At long last, Hector promotes. About fucking time too.

And Oswin finally decided to gain a point of speed, in like, what? 5 levels? Jesus... he's still really sluggish either way, but I suppose with capped defense and resistance that's +8 above his averages, he's still unkillable anyways.

All in all, here's some friendly advice for completing this map: do not enter the trigger zone on the east island. Otherwise, valkyries start spawning and they are actually really hard to kill in one round since basically nothing that is able to use javelins/hand axes can double them (and obviously, mages have it even worse, since they're like 3HKOing and not doubling).

And before I forget, here's the image of Hector and Lyn having anal sex while she's tied up/gagged that I promised in the BBD segment.

Unit Stats:
Name       Level   HP SM SK SP LK DF RS CN Weapon Level
Hector     20/ 1   41 20 19 15 11 21  9 15 Swd D/Axe A
Eliwood    20/ 3   43 22 19 22 18 13 11  9 Swd A/Lnc D
Lyn        20/ 5   47 20 24 24 21 12 12  6 Swd A/Bow C

Ninian     13/--   25  0  0 25 24  9 14  4 --
Oswin      18/10   50 25 20 12 10 30 20 16 Lnc A/Axe S
Bartre     15/ 4   48 23 16 15  7 17  4 15 Axe S/Bow E
Priscilla   7/ 0   20 10  8 10 10  3  9  4 Stf B
Sain       15/ 4   37 22 10 18  9 15  6  9 Swd B/Lnc A/Axe C
Florina    13/ 6   31 15 21 23 18  9 13  5 Swd E/Lnc S
Raven      15/ 8   50 25 23 26 10 16  6  9 Swd S/Axe B
Lucius     13/ 7   30 22 13 19  6  7 23  7 Lgt S/Stf A

Canas      15/11   46 27 18 21 14 14 24  8 Drk S/Stf A
Legault    15/ 0   30 10 16 20 13 10  6  9 Swd C
Heath      15/10   52 27 22 20 11 25  8 10 Swd B/Lnc S

Pent       --/ 9   35 20 21 18 16 12 18  8 Anm S/Stf A
Louise     --/ 6   29 14 15 19 16  9 12  6 Bow A
Vaida      --/ 9   47 22 21 13 10 22  7 12 Swd A/Lnc A

Supports:
Hector x Lyn A, Eliwood x Ninian A, Raven x Lucius B, Pent x Louise A


Swag List:
Warp
Iron rune

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Have a nice day.

Wednesday 4 January 2017

ITT I Play Hector Hard Mode (part 24)

Chapter 28x: Infernal Ele- wait. Wrong Game.

Units Deployed:
Hector, Eliwood, Ninian, Raven, Lucius, Bartre, Canas, Florina, Heath, Legault, Nino

New Units:

Jaffar (Lv13 Assassin)
Bases: 34 HP/19 str/25 skl/24 spd/10 lck/15 def/11 res/8 con Swd A
Growths: 60 HP/15 str/40 skl/35 spd/20 lck/30 def/30 res
Supports: Nino, Legault, Matthew

Summary: Jaffar is basically Karel if he joined with higher base stats and traded a +15 critical hit bonus for Lethality. He's actually a fairly good unit in a vacuum, but he has basically no utility value outside of the ability to OHKO things. And Lethality's proc rate isn't the greatest in the world even with +30 crit from his killing edge.

Chapter Summary:
The layout of this map is composed of a large lake with several small islands scattered about the map. Every five turns, bridges connecting the islands will rise from or sink into the water, which will allow grounded units to progress through the map, but can also impede them, as only flying units and pirates can traverse watery terrain and the bridges connecting the northern islands to the one where Sonia is on don't rise until turn 10.

The optimal strategy would be to use flying units to ferry Hector across the lake to the throne. But there are a few impediments that complicate such a strategy. First off, this is the first map in a long while that features status staves; in particular, the sorcerer to the southeast and one of the bishops on the island just northwest of Sonia have sleep staves, while the other bishop carries a berserk staff. Furthermore, the sage on the island between the west ballista island and the speedwing island has a silence staff. While pegasus knights can typically get status staff hit rates below 20 with a pure water/barrier boost, Heath can face upwards of 40-50 hit from them even with pure water/barrier. Also, there is a group of wyvern riders near the dark mage group to the southeast that are fairly threatening to the player's pegasus riders.

Sonia herself is somewhat threatening, packing a 34 attack Bolting, and having 47 HP/22 def/30 res (after throne bonuses) close up. However, she is weighed down significantly by her tomes, making her attack speed fairly low (12 AS with Fimbulvetr) and easy to double as a consequence. She is also carrying a droppable fell contract, which can promote thieves into assassins. Funny how the player obtains one in the same map he gets a Lv13 assassin with bases that make both Matthew and Legault look weak.

The swag here is somewhat high end. A speedwing can be obtained from the chest on the island with three generals, and is fairly trivial to obtain despite the generals having up to 43 HP and 20 def bulk. There is also a blue gem and a seraph robe that can be stolen from a hero and bishop, respectively. Last, there is a recover staff, a Fenrir book, and a Thor's Ire to be obtained from the chests in the northeast corner of the map. However, these chests are quite hard to get to in efficient play, as a player would have to send a flying unit to those chests that could otherwise be used to escort Hector to the gate.

Lastly, the player cannot bring the convoy to this map, meaning that player units that pick up items will need to either have an empty slot in their inventory or discard one of their items.

Turn By Turn Analysis:
Turn 1: Heath moves east to the island adjacent to my starting position and kills the sniper. Florina picks up Canas, then gets danced by Ninian and drops Canas on the ballista. Bartre parks himself in front of the peg squad while everyone else heads north.
EP: Bartre takes out the peg squad and gets attacked by three Bolting mages. Canas dodges a silence staff. He and Heath also kill the two archers on the W ballista island.

Turn 2: Heath kills the silence sage. Florina moves in to kill one of the bolting mages. Lucius kills a pirate blocking Heath's way.
EP: Raven kills a cavalier and chips the silver lance paladin. Heath and Canas each dodge a bolting.

Turn 3: Eliwood kills the paladin from earlier. Raven and Lucius kill two more pony riders. Canas gets dropped onto the bolting island by Flo and Heath, who then equips a lancereaver and heads into the wyverns' range.
EP: Heath kills four wyvern riders and chips the wyvern lord and one of the generals. Bartre chipped a poison sword cav (would've killed, but he whiffed the second hit) and gets attacked by a nomad. The two mages attack Heath. Canas dodges a sleep staff from the enemy sorcerer. Raven gets berserked.

Turn 4: Raven gets restored by Lucius and kills the nomad after Bartre chipped it. Eliwood also kills the sword cav that Bartre chipped. Heath kills the sleep staff sorc and gets healed by Canas.
EP: Heath kills a pirate and four dark mages. Canas kills two wyvern riders. Florina breaks her javelin on the wyvern lord and dodges both a pirate and a bolting. Bartre kills another cavalier.

Turn 5: Eliwood kills the last nomad. Raven gets restored and kills a merc on the blue gem hero island. Canas kills the wyvern lord while Florina heads towards Hector's group. Heath opens the speedwing chest.
EP: Canas kills three wyvern riders. Heath kills a pirate. The mercenaries attack Florina and Raven, while the hero attacks the latter. Flo dodges a bolting while Leggy dodges both a berserk and a sleep staff from the two bishops.

Turn 6: Leggy steals the blue gem. Raven chips the hero, allowing Eli to kill it. Flo picks up Hector and flies southeast. Canas kills off another pirate, then gets picked up by Heath, who flies east.
EP: Heath dodges Sonia's bolting and kills a wyvern rider. Leggy gets attacked by a wyvern rider and dodges a bolting. Eli gets attacked by the seraph robe bishop. Jaffar gets put to sleep.

Turn 7: Leggy steals the seraph robe. Eli and Bartre kill the two bishops. Raven kills one of the wyvern rider reinforcements. Heath drops Canas on Sonia's island while Florina trades her chest keys to him.
EP: Florina gets hit by Sonia's bolting. Raven and Lucius kill wyvern reinforcements (one of them attacks Leggy). Canas kills the devil axe pirate and the second wyvern rider near Sonia.

Turn 8: Canas kills Sonia. Heath takes Flo's delphi shield, gets danced by Ninian, and heads north to kill the silver bow sniper. Eli uses his heaven seal.
EP: Heath kills two wyvern riders, while the third one and the wyvern lord attack Ninian. Two of the archers mount ballistae and attack Bartre. The other two attack Heath, but miss.

Turn 9: Heath opens the Thor's Ire chest, gets danced (Bartre and Eli rescued him into Ninian's range) and opens the Fenrir chest. Legault kills the wyvern lord after Raven chips it. Hector seizes.

Turns Taken: 9/191

Ending Thoughts:
I gotta say that Eli really has come a long way. By that, I mean he went from being really underleveled in Chapter 20 and managed to overcome a large level deficit to become something that's actually decent.

Weird shit: Canas, a magic user, has about 15 more HP and 6 more defense than Florina, a pegasus rider. And here I thought that magic users were frail. Granted, I compared him to a unit that was going to be frail on average anyway, but still.

Remember when I said that I would commission a pic of Hector and Lyn having anal once they reached their A support? Well, let's just say I contacted Sketch Lanza on Monday, and sent him a commission with those details.

P.S: Want more awesome, more often? Please like and comment on this playthrough, as well as my Amourshipping hentai pic.

Unit Stats:
Name       Level   HP SM SK SP LK DF RS CN Weapon Level
Hector     20/ 0   38 20 17 12 11 20  4 13 Axe A
Eliwood    20/ 1   41 20 18 21 17 13  9  9 Swd A/Lnc D
Lyn        20/ 3   45 18 23 22 20 12 11  6 Swd A/Bow D

Ninian     13/--   24  0  0 24 22  8 12  4 --
Oswin      18/ 8   48 24 20 11  9 28 18 16 Lnc A/Axe S
Bartre     15/ 4   48 23 16 15  7 17  4 15 Axe S/Bow E
Priscilla   7/ 0   20 10  8 10 10  3  9  4 Stf B
Sain       15/ 3   36 21 10 17  9 15  6  9 Swd B/Lnc A/Axe D
Florina    13/ 4   30 13 19 22 17  8 13  5 Swd E/Lnc S
Raven      15/ 8   50 25 23 26 10 16  6  9 Swd S/Axe B
Lucius     13/ 7   30 22 13 19  6  7 23  7 Lgt S/Stf A

Canas      15/ 9   45 25 17 20 14 14 22  8 Drk S/Stf A
Legault    15/ 0   30 10 16 20 13 10  6  9 Swd C
Heath      15/10   52 27 22 20 11 25  8 10 Swd B/Lnc S

Pent       --/ 7   34 19 21 17 15 12 16  8 Anm S/Stf A
Louise     --/ 4   28 12 14 17 16  9 12  6 Bow A
Nino        5/ 0   19  7  8 11 10  4  7  3 Anm C
Jaffar     --/13   34 19 25 24 10 15 11  8 Swd A

Supports:
Hector x Lyn A, Eliwood x Ninian A, Raven x Lucius B, Pent x Louise A


Swag List:
Blue Gem
Seraph robe
Speedwing
Fenrir
Thor's Ire
Fell contract

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Have a nice day.