A Poke-Christmas 2017

Hey guys. This is my submission for this year's Christmas fest. Hope you enjoy.

While I'm here, I may as well tell you all some fun facts about Santa Claus:
- In order for Santa to visit every single house in the world, accounting for time zones, he would have to travel at roughly Mach 2000. Going this fast would also mean you'd hear Santa coming from roughly 50 miles away.
- If Santa's sleigh were to travel that fast, it would exert a force of roughly 4,000,000 PSI. This is well beyond the amount of force needed to turn a human body into chunky salsa.
- Santa's sack of gifts would weigh about 300,000 tons. Every time he makes a landing, he would make a crater approximately 2.4 miles in diameter.
- Elves as depicted in the Santa folklore do not exist, as far as we know. The vast majority of toys distributed in the US and Canada are imported from countries that have no laws against child labor.

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYNaEM2O5pU

So... yeah. If Santa as depicted in the folklore was actually real, we'd all be fucked. Just like how the open internet will be fucked if you don't call your Congressman and Senators at Battle For The Net and demand that they support Congressman Doyle and Senator Markey's CRA resolution denouncing Ajit Pai's "Restoring Internet Freedom" order.

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Besides that, enjoy this pic of Ash enjoying his new Christmas "present". Apparently, he forgot to remove the wrapping, but I suppose that's what makes the pic sexier...

And before you ask why there's no legs on the table in the pic, the artist responsible for drawing this pic has been fired.

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Pokemon is (c) 1996-2017 Game Freak
All unit(s) are Lv18 and above.
This image was created by Sketch Lanza. Go here and here to view his shit.

Have a Merry Christmas.

Ultra Lunar Eclipse

Ok, this was actually supposed to be uploaded a month ago, but Louis had gotten backlogged so... yeah. Anyways, I had bought Pokemon Ultra Sun the day it came out, and from what I've played so far, here is my critique of the game:

New Pokemon Revealed:

For the first time in its history, Game Freak has actually introduced new Pokemon species within the same generation, adding in three new Ultra Beasts and an event Legendary. Among these, Naganadel is probably the most notable, in that he got sent to Ubers about a week after the games were released. He has absolutely monstrous special offenses and a very good offensive typing in poison/dragon, along with the movepool to make use of the above two parameters. As for the others, while Blacephalon is also pretty scary thanks to his good mixed offenses and decent speed, Stakataka is pretty underwhelming since he has a defensive statline, but a terrible defensive typing to make use of said defenses.

New Formes for Necrozma:

As usual since Gen IV, whenever a new game within the same generation comes out, a legendary Pokemon that was not prominently featured in the previous games gets an uber buff in the form of new formes (pun intended). In Necrozma's case, he received two new formes depending on which of the S/M cover legends the player fused him with, which not only changes his appearances, but gives him a similar statline to that of the legend he assimilated with (Atk/Def for Solgaleo and SpA/Spd for Lunala). As if this wasn't enough, by giving him an Ultranecrozium Z, he can transform into Ultra Necrozma, a psychic/dragon type with 167/167/129 offenses and an ability that increases the power of super effective moves by 20%. And to top it all off, he gets a new signature move called Photon Geyser, which is a 100 BP move that uses whichever of his attacking stats is higher to calculate damage. Yeah, I think we should all tremble in fear now.

Mantine Surf/Move Tutors:

Another addition to the game that I found to be enjoyable is Mantine Surf. It's a fun minigame where the player must ride a tidal wave while performing tricks and dodging Pokemon. Performing well in this minigame will earn the player Beach Points (BP), which can then be used to buy moves at the Move Tutors scattered across Aloha. Like in most third installment games, the move tutors are back to teach the player powerful moves, but unlike in most games, these tutors aren't tucked away in a postgame battle facility nor do they require a rare resource as payment, which makes them fairly accessible during the story mode.

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And that's about all I'm going to say regarding those games. That was a mouthful. I'd have Selene here do the talking, but as one can see, she's not in a position to talk right now.

Also, if you live in the US, please contact your Congresscritter at http://www.battleforthenet.com/ to demand that they support Congressman Doyle and Senator Markey's resolution of disapproval against FCC Chairman Pai's "Restoring Internet Freedom" order.

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Pokemon is (c) 1996-2017 Hiro Mashima
All unit(s) are Lv18 and above.
This pic was made by Kuroi Hoshi. Go here to view his stuff and here to watch his livestream.

Have a nice day.